You need to move on.

*sigh*
You're really going to make me say this? O.K.
I know, I'm the one that began this relationship. I saw you and found you interesting. I began to know just where I could find you when I went out. I looked forward to seeing you-especially on weekends. I also know that even though you were pushing for it, I'm the one who decided to take our relationship to the next level. I don't know, maybe we moved too quickly into a commitment we weren't ready for? Maybe I just wanted it to work out so badly that I looked past your flaws? Finding little idiosyncrasies to be more endearing than annoying. I take full blame for that. I also take the blame for the length of our liaison. I had been thinking about getting out for a while. I guess I was hoping for a spontaneous improvement from you.You had so many good qualities. You were always punctual. I'm sorry. You know that. When I broke it off, I thought you understood. We made a clean break. I moved on and thought you would have, too.
That's why I was so surprised when you called me the other day.
I think I handled your call well. I was friendly, but, not too friendly. I let you know that there was no reason to call me again.
But, you did. Why did you call me again? A second and third time? It's sad really. So, Pantagraph I'm writing this in the hopes that you'll stop calling. I no longer want home delivery. I don't even pick up the Sunday edition when I'm out running errands. Please, lose my number.